lama dah tak update blog ni. last update a week b4 my engagement. dunno wat went wrong. maybe i dun have the feel to write anymore or i'm too busy thinking bout other things which is more important rather tha updating my blog? or is because i know that no one will ever read my blog? hmm entah la. but definitely i'll start writting in this blog again eventhough no one will read it. what the heck if no one will read it. it's my own personal dairy ait?
well, as usual if i'm still wide awake at this time it's either i'm having a bad time, slept too much during the day or there's sumthing bothering my head. well the last reason fits the best answer. lately, there's a lot of thing has been bothering me. i feel that i'm a failure in my life, everybody become too judgemental and i can't do anything rite. it's like i lost my passion in everything i do. i become easily jealous towards people around me. i dunno what has happen.
yesterday i received a good news from my cousin. ada orang nak merisik dia and her engagement will be on february and most probably the wedding will be on july next year. when i heard that news, i was shocked (and happy of cos). she's getting married b4 me? i couldn't believe it. and some more, she gets a nice hunk! i'm sooo jealous. it's not that my man is not that hunk, but sometimes i feel that maybe i will meet someone better if i wait. (nooo, nooo, nooo Yaya. Ewan is as good as other guy that you ever meet so please be grateful and thankful that you found him). i just hope that next year my wedding will be 'the wedding of the year' among my family members. i have this fantastic ideas on how i want my wedding will be like. but it's ok if it's not 'the wedding of the year'. i'm still happy and grateful for what i have and can't wait to start a new life. *wink*
okay now i wanna start my checklist thingy. ciao
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